Reviews

After navigating his way safely through a group featuring Nugget, Pa and Mark the Spark, the King of the Walk-ons faced off with Kev Mc in the last 16. Kev, however, couldn't make the significant advantage of being the only sober player in the Lakeside pay off and was put to the sword 2 legs to 1 by the now 9 pints deep Bar. The A Lister was next to be dispatched by Bar and he completed his passage to the final by unceremoniously dumping out pre-tournament favourite The Boy at the semi-final stage. On the other side of the draw Anto B, in his debut year, sent shockwaves through the Lakeside when he whitewashed The Physio in the last 16. He wasn't finished there and took another huge scalp in the shape of 4-time winner The Express in the semis. Eventually the day could belong to only one man and he had a blonde wig and a white flowy shirt. It was written in the stars for the Lord of the Dance.

Fans favourite, the Thurles Terror, who had been hotly tipped to take home the PDI, had to settle for winning the Shield. The Terror, who will be sorely missed in 2018, picked himself up and dusted himself off after failing to progress from the Group of Death that included The Bat, the Educator and Clay Davis. He faced off with Shield Specialist Bad Medicine and took home the Shield in the deciding leg of the final.

The WPDI was won for the second time by Sinead "Neiller". Neiller is now tied with Michelle on 2 WPDIs a piece. Rumours of Michelle coming home this year to claim back her title have been grossly exaggerated.

The Bat, as ever, sold an unholy amount of raffle tickets. In a puzzling move during the auction, one PDI superfan paid €300 for the signed Ireland jersey he had donated only hours previously. It is understood he will once again donate the jersey this year but it is unclear as to whether he will bid to buy it back.

After playing a whopping 32 walk-on tunes, the Hazards kept the punters entertained long into the night with their timeless classics and bi-hourly rendition of the darts tune of course.

As Bar performed his victory walk-on (his third of the day) he was joined on stage by all the players for the Riverdance finale. A special moment.

The evening drew to a close as it normally does with copious amounts of bombs, tops off for a few of the lads and some horrendous attempts at singing. Nugget's cover of Will Young ‘Evergreen’ was the signal for Mick the Trick to organize a few taxis (with military precision) and begin the clear out.

As we had the annual debrief in the Morgue the next day, over carveries and a couple of pints of plain, attention quickly switched to 2018. We couldn't bloody wait.

The morning started with a thump, a thumping headache. Pain soon subsided when the realisation struck that it was PDI day. Go tobann! the front door of 33 burst open, to roars of “we're back”. Back they were indeed, Mick and Breda. A freshly sliced ham, an abundance of cheese and the weight of a small baby in butter. Sambos wrapped, costumes packed, shorts on and it was Lakeside Lounge in St Judes we were bound (via Templeogue Road to pick up Frank the Tank).

As we arrived into the car park, PDI debutant Bowser was sparking up his first fag of the day with a fresh pint of plain in his hand. The bagpiper was nearly through his pint of Smithwicks, procession time was nigh.

‘Thunderstruck’ reverberated through the arena.

A PDI debutant was next, Bar, and oh my, HE DELIVERED IN A BIG WAY. His dance moves were impeccable and quick, resembling closely a famous General Manager of Slough-based Wernham Hogg paper merchants. With many of the crowd quoting his low centre of gravity as the main factor in his ability to dance sidewards with such speed through the crowd.

Last up in Group 1 was the Sexy Boy, accompanied by the first video of the day. Talk about hitting all the current affair topics. He had the Lakeside in stitches of laughter with a pitch-perfect slandering of the A Lister. Out came the Sexy Boy, in a beach towel, and the Grannies hands went over the grandchildren's eyes. Towel off, Elephant out. Says it all really.

With just enough time to grab a quick pint, we were swiftly on to Group 2. Another newcomer was about to pop his PDI walk-on cherry to a Lion King classic that saw all the crowd get involved.

Next was Stephen R. Rarely seen since the founding years of the PDI, he brought some, emm, weirdness. As the Humans are Dead blasted from the speakers, he entered in a tin foil robot head and delivered strange mechanical movements. It was, erm, different.

The Pawn followed and brought some of his efficient dancing and duly received the affection of the crowd.

Kev Mc grabbed the mic and welcomed in Tom Senior to ‘We're all part of Jackie's army’, needless to say — ‘Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole’ had everyone jumping.

By far the creepiest walk on of the day went to The Undertaker. His entrance bewildered and likely scarred a number of children.

The Chairman was next and an inspiring video provided the gateway for El Chapo's introduction. Talk about swagger and verve, he had it in abundance.

The Dropkick Murphy's came over the speakers and it could only be one man next: Kev Mc with an inspired jig followed by a rally of high fives down the bar aisle.

Last up in Group 2 was another debutant, The Tequila Tango Twister aka Simmy Mc entered to a Mexican rumba. Tequila shots for the fans, who drank in his appearance — literally.

For those in Group 3 it was time to hit the infamous green room. First up was another debutant, Shane G, bursting onto the scene with bright yellow flowers decorating the upper body, dancing like he was about to do the limbo while downing a pint. Good lad, great walk on.

The 2016 Hall of Fame entry, The Physio, entered to a welcoming audience and showed his delight with some significant, hands in the air shaking momentum.

The Gun was next, this year armed with 2 hammers and a pair of paddy power's finest lucky pants. While it lacked originality, it had a wealth of effort.

The PDI's very own ‘Last Man Standing’ guru, Eddie Mc, was out the double doors next. Through the smoke he came to put on a display of chicken dancing like no other.

With Head Hogan giving some lame excuse of a honeymoon for missing the PDI, all thought that the wrestling fraternity had lost a huge part of their day, well, up stepped Mark the Spark. Triple H provided an authentic experience. Taped up, sunglasses on and an aggressive attitude. He gave it to the crowd, by literally spitting all over one of the grandmothers and put bewildered adults in headlocks. Another outstanding performance from a debutant.

Mick The Trick was next to emerge trough the double doors, with some solid waving, the crowd aka Russ, put in another strong performance for the newcomers. He had the crowd singing in perfect harmony to ‘We Will Rock You’ as his big hairy chest on display had the ladies going weak at the knees.

D'Edgeucator sprang through the doors next and put on a display of Usain Bolt-esque sharp-shooting to the sky. The Educator, do do do.

The Terror, one of the 2016 favs, with some last minute improvisation, impressed as the Jaeger bomber — decked out with Jaeger bombs and a tea towel for his keffiyeh (headscarf). And last but not least, it was The Buachaill. Looking like the lead singer from Nickelback, one thing was for sure: he looked like he meant business.

As the walk-ons drew to a close, it was back to the arrows. There was the potential for some big scalps with The Terror vs The Buachaill. One leg each, The Terror left tops while The Boy had 66 still to score. Surely The Terror would be back with 3 darts at Tops but no, The Boy finished out 66 and cemented his place in the QF's.

The debutants put in a good show on the darts front with Bowser and Shane G also powering into the quarters. Following the lads into the quarters was the PDI's first ever glory boy, Kev Mc. The remaining four in the QF's were all at the top of the bookies tissue at the beginning of the day, The Cat, The Undertaker, Clay Davis and D'Edgeucator.

The WPDI has grown from strength to strength with 22 ladies taking part in the 2016 event. And it was time for the ladies to get their darts on. Before any blood could be drawn though, it was to the kitchen for the ladies and the ceremonial Jaeger bomb. As Swainer blasted out a tune the ladies burst onto the scene, forming a tremendous Conga Line, naturally being led by Breda D. The ladies gathered in front of the 4 main boards to form a dancing troop capable of entering Britain's Got Talent, headed up by their ringmaster, Donegal Karen. The ladies competition, due to its format of 1 leg straight knockout, moves very quickly. It is a punishing format with no margin for error. The first round saw both 2015 finalists, Fonzi and Neiller taking early baths. With the speedy format, the victorious ladies were being rushed around from board to board like models backstage at a Milan fashion show (Editor's note: um, sexist). Before we knew it, we had two WPDI semi finalists: Amy and Giulia.

The QF's threw up some interesting fixtures with some old foes pitched against one another:

The Cat vs The Undertaker Bowser vs Kev Mc Shane G vs The Buachaill D'Edgeucator vs Clay Davis

As usual, this part of the night is when the darts tend to speed up (along with the drinking), the darting riff-raff having been eliminated. The serious players were on display now. Kev Mc scalped his old foe Bowser to book a rare spot in the semis and was to take on The Boy after he put in a dominating performance against Shane G in his QF tie. Another ferocious battle was being played out between two alpha males, these two being more used to wrestling with each other in the back room, it was The Cat v The Undertaker. It was The Undertaker who would be victorious. His confidence was growing (mostly aided by pints) and he was starting to believe 2016 could be his year. Completing the semi-finalists, D'Edgeucator took down the 2014 champion, Clay Davis. Representatives from both clans watched that tie with bitten nails all round by the end.

D'Edgeucator vs The Undertaker The Buachaill vs Kev Mc

Quick fire darts across both semis saw the finalists being drawn very sharply. The Undertaker's 2016 dream came crashing down at the hands of the D'Edgeucator and Monster simply could not keep pace with The Buachaill. With D'Edgeucator and The Buachaill having won 4 of the last 6 PDI's it was no surprise to see these two powerhouses in the final.

D'Edgeucator vs The Buachaill

In the shield, Bad Medicine cured the A-Lister of his darting ills to pit himself against The Terror who had wasted no time in frightening El Chapo out of the other shield semi.

With all 2016 finalists now known, it was time to give the darts a break. For some reason a Magician had arrived and was entertaining the swathes of trusty PDI followers. His skills even had Margaret blushing. Soon those in the crowd were itching to win a raffle prize. With multi-coloured disco lights being shone on the stage and raffle tickets lacking in colour distinction, it had potential to turn into a complete farce. The wining tickets came out of ‘the bucket’ thick and fast to the usual shouts of ‘fix’ from the audience.

Onwards we went to the infamous auction, where there was a real sense of anticipation among the now dangerously inebriated crowd. First up was a generic milk bottle which sold to The Pawn for a barely credible €50. WHAT A BARGAIN! Resident model, Fiona, was to work her magic with the next item, the famous reversible fur coat from 2015. Bidding was surprisingly not as hot as 2015 but this prized item fetched €80 when the hammer went down.

Third up was quite an apt piece of memorabilia, being the centenary of the Easter Rising; it was a special edition Padraig Pearse medal made by the National Mint. The Asset locked this gem down for 300 (Three hundred) smackeroos. Next we had a chance to be part of Irish sporting history with a ticket to Ireland vs Sweden in Paris in June. Hostile bidding driving the price up, The Gun locked it down for €370. Next was a Coronas VIP package. El Chapo wasn't going to let this one go easily and was chomping at the bit to lock it down. He wasn't to be outdone and splashed out a mighty €420 to secure victory. The Boy produced another piece of carpentry excellence, in making a one-off dartboard case, which wouldn't look out of place next to the finest of spice racks. The Cat saw the value here and coughed up €310 after some intense bidding. We were down to the last two items and it was the turn of the ‘keg party’ to be put to the punters. And they punted hard on this one, running into the hundreds very quickly. The Asset dug deep into his pockets again and topped the bidding at €820 (eight hundred and twenty …). And then it was the turn of the Man United jersey, signed by some top names including Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes. The bidding went up in 50s on this one and it was bought for 450 bob by Shane G. Never met the lad before but a good lad.

It was time to move on to the Darts Finals. They got under way with Amy taking on Giulia in the WPDI, The Terror taking on Bad Medicine in the Shield and The Boy taking on D'Edgeucator in the main event. Could it be that both Giulia and The Boy could win their respective duals and unite these two great trophies in one household. With all 3 finals in full swing there was a large crowd up to watch some fine darting displays. The first final to be locked down was the WPDI with Giulia taking gold. Then the result of the Shield filtered through and it was as expected, with The Terror schooling Bad Medicine to land the second-tier title.

The two heavyweights were still going blow for blow in the final but it was The Buachaill who was to rise to victory and land his third PDI title. It sealed the Boy/Giulia double and both PDI titles headed for the mantlepiece in Leopardstown.

By this part of the night, the crowd were in full swing (read: close to hospitalisation). A quote overheard at the bar by your reviewer: ‘Can I have four Jaeger bombs, please?’ ‘We're out of Jaeger, I'm afraid.’ ‘That'll be eight Sambucas, then, please.’

It was past the pumpkin hour and The Hazards were still keeping the adoring crowd highly entertained — and with tradition, many lads nicely juiced, it was time for shirts to come off and swung excitedly overhead.

The night felt young but the alcohol was starting to take grip. I felt I had more to give but it was after 2 a.m. and 14 hours in the Lakeside, Mick The Trick was shepherding me to a taxi and that was my PDI 2016 concluded. A real cracker, she was. All I could think was: I can't wait until next year.

The Prodigal Son returns. After four years in the PDI wilderness, former three time champion (2005, 2006, 2009) and the 2013 Hall of Fame Inductee The Express, returned to the Lakeside Arena with a vengeance to claim his fourth PDI title. The Express had the bit between his teeth and was ruthless in his execution. Timing beats speed and precision beats power.

2015 provided a golden opportunity for someone to claim their first WPDI crown as Michelle vacated her title to go Pro and travel Australia on the darts circuit. Sinead needed no second invitation and obliterated the field in an outstanding display of arrows.

The Hall of Fame was graced with some new additions in the form of The Boy, and our resident house band The Hazards. The proud and deserving inductees were presented with Sergio Georgini white blazers and took their place in the pantheon where they will rub shoulders with PDI royalty.

As with every year, the real competition for many of the Invitees was the Walk on of the Year. The Sexy Boy famously turned up without darts in 2012, but with a spare elephant thong. Sexy Boy was back from his photography course in Africa and was heavy favourite for the prize. In a shocking move, Hedzer abandoned his Hed Hogan persona in favour of a new alter ego; Y2Hedico. We had flying nuns, hat fever and one of the most controversial videos in PDI history from Vinny and Sexy Boy. The pair's lifestyle choices were really brought into question following their steamy training montage. In the end, there could only be one winner and the Sexy Boy narrowly defeated Y2Hedico to take the spoils.

One thing was for certain last year, we would have a new WPDI Champion. With Michelle vacating her title, there would be a new name on the WPDI trophy. Step forward Sinead who wiped out the entire division to take the gold home.

According to Pawn Bet, the majority of the pre-tournament betting was on The Physio (7/2) to repeat his 2014 trick and reclaim the biggest prize in South Dublin Amateur Darts. Na Buach saw himself in the unfamiliar position of being a 4/1 outsider.

It was business as usual as the PDI heavyweights safely navigated their way through the groups and took their places in the Quarter Finals. There were some familiar faces in the Shield too, but Bad Medicine defied the odds to book his place in the final for the first time. Bad Medicine wasn't done there and he went one better to sensationally whitewash Kev Mc in the final and get his name on the Shield Roll of Honour.

Then we had it, the first major shock of the day, when the pre-tournament favourite, the Physio, was unceremoniously dumped out at the Quarter Final stage by the Educator. This sent shockwaves through the Lakeside and Pawn Bet was seen ordering 34 bombs at the bar. The Express signalled his intent with an 11-dart finish as he booked his place in the final four. After their titanic battle in 2014, The Boy and Snr were kept apart in the semis as Na Buach lined out against The Express and Na Fear took on the Educator. What we were treated to next were two of the most fiercely contested semi finals in PDI history as the Lakeside crowd witnessed arrows that would only be matched in the Ally Pally. There was to be no dream all-family final as The Express and Diggo progressed to meet at the summit. A two time champion, taking on the only man with three belts, this truly was a final for the ages. With five titles between them, the showpiece was never going to disappoint and the two gladiators showed why they were at the top of the game. With The Express 2-1 ahead, Diggo produced a tremendous 4th leg performance to take the final to a 5th leg decider. This one was destined to go the distance. The 5th and final leg of 2015 will live long in the memory. With the Lakeside at full capacity, you could hear a pin drop while the lads threw, with eruptions of joy between arrows. In the end there can only be one King and this night would belong to the Express. The Express held his nerve to claim victory and win an astonishing 4th PDI title. Plus ça change.

The March to the Pantheon

2014 saw the dawn of a new PDI tradition. Like gladiators entering the coliseum in Rome, our 24 fierce competitors embarked upon a guard of honour through the grounds of the Lakeside Arena, led by Marty ‘The Bagpiper’. Onlookers could have been forgiven for confusing this with an Provisional IRA summit, their fears eased once they heard the unmistakable ‘Chase the Sun’ hum majestically from Marty's bagpipes. The hair stood on the back of each of our necks as we climbed the steps to face our destiny.

Walk-Ons

For some competitors, the darts are secondary and the walk-ons are the main event. 2014 was no different as fans were treated to some truly memorable entrances. We had everything from former champions scantily clad in Paddy Power boxers, Batman and Head Hogan to Jaeger bombs and kung-fu fighting. Shout out to the house band The Hazards here, without whom none of this would be possible. There was, however, an air of uncertainty around the walk ons last year with stalwarts Sexy Boy and TJ ‘The Colossus’ missing in action. Who could step up and take on the walk on mantle? Enter The Undertaker who's chilling entrance as the Deadman sent shockwaves through the Lakeside Arena. The Undertaker, the PDI debutant, was deservedly awarded the coveted ‘Walk On of the Year’ award or peoples’ championship, narrowly defeating Apollo Creed in the most tightly contested vote to date.

2014 WPDI

The WPDI saw the number of competitors grow from 9 to 13 in its second year. The stakes were higher but the result was familiar as Michelle continued her meteoric rise through the Dublin darts circuit by claiming her second WPDI title. Michelle would go on to claim an historic double after claiming the gold in the Darts Challenge during day 2 of Aileen and Colly’s wedding.

The Groups

In keeping with PDI tradition, Group 1 contained the reigning champion, The Boy. It would however be no easy ride for The Boy with The Terror and The Gun hunting for a big name scalp in the 2014 Group of Death. In a huge upset, Na Buachaill failed to qualify for the quarter finals and had to be happy with a place in the shield, alongside Kev Mc. Cathal, fresh from shrugging off another misdemeanour charge, topped Group 1 with Pa joining him in the quarters. Hedzer picked up his annual wooden spoon, again in keeping with tradition.

A huge amount of hype surrounded Group 2 due to the inclusion of The Undertaker, who came into the PDI with a big reputation on the local darts scene. Reputations, and sometimes shirts, are left at the door in the Lakeside however and The Undertaker was given a rude awakening when he lost his first game to journeyman Vinny. From the off it was clear that the soon-to-be brothers-in-law were the heavyweights in this group and they made no mistake in advancing to the quarter finals in first and second respectively. Doyler and The Asset narrowly missed out on places in the shield as The Undertaker and Apollo advanced.

Group 3 contained a previous two time PDI champion (The Educator), a two time shield winner (The Pawn) and a former PDI runner-up (The A Lister), alongside PDI royalty in the shape of the Bat and the Trick. Bad Medicine wasn't there to make up the numbers either in this hotly contested group. After some sublime arrows, and stunning comebacks, The Educator and the A Lister marched on to the quarter finals. Pawn Bet secured his customary place in the shield, where he was joined by Vinny.

Nugget came into Group 3 on a high after his victory in the October Bank Holiday Pool Classic (the ugly sister of the PDI). He would need to replicate that form to stand any chance of getting out of a group containing Tom the Man and Clay Davis. Clay Davis showed ruthless conviction in dispatching of opponents and came into last year's tournament more focused than ever before. The Entertainer narrowly pipped Tom Snr into second place as Swainer propped up the group.

Shield Semi-Finals

The Boy and Senior were kept apart in the semi final draw as Na Buachaill took on Kev Mc and An Fhear faced Maughner. The Pawn was searching for an unprecedented third shield title on the spin, but came up against the Man at the top of his game. The evergreen Barry Snr rolled back the years with a timeless performance and produced some sensational arrows to book his place in the final. Buoyed by the possibility of taking on his old man, The Boy made short work of Big Meat, and gave the fans the final they had been dreaming of.

The Shield Final

Not since Vince and Shane McMahon faced off at Survivor Series VI has there been a more anticipated father–son clash. The master versus the student, the old guard against the young pretender, this was Man vs Boy! It proved to be the longest and most dramatic Shield final in PDI history, the weary fighters exchanging blow after blow. In the end, the exuberance of youth triumphed over experience as Tom Jnr secured victory. The punch drunk warriors embraced and bowed to the adulation of the crowd.

PDI Quarter-Finals

The time for fun and games was over as we reached the business end of the Championship. Here in lies the magic of the PDI, knockout darts where anything can happen. Pa fired out a warning to the rest of the competition with a comprehensive 2-0 victory over the in form Barry. It went from bad to worse for the clan as the Terror was unceremoniously dumped out by Colly the Cat, the latter coming from behind to win 2-1. The Educator survived an early scare to eventually put Bad Medicine to the sword. Last was the undoubted tie of the round; The Physio up against Eddie Mc. These two have enjoyed some titanic battles over the years and this one was no different. In this game of poker, the A-Lister was first to blink, the Physio showing no remorse in taking the deciding leg.

PDI Semi-Finals

It doesn’t get more Box Office than The Cat vs The Educator. The 2014 Hall of Fame inductee up against the 2012 entrant. These two PDI legends and former champions came face to face in the first semi final. Pawn Bet had priced Diggo as slight favourite in the build up but in his best performance to date Colly was clinical and won 2-0 to book his place in the final. Pa, playing in his first semi-final, would have to get past The Physio if he wanted to join the Cat at the final hurdle. However it was not to be for the Rebel, as The Physio retained his scintillating form from the quarters and ruthlessly dispatched Pa 2-0.

The 2014 PDI Final

It simply comes no bigger than the PDI Final. After the customary finalist walk ons, Colly and The Physio came face to face at the oche in the Lakeside Arena. Both competitors had reached the summit of the Pantheon, but only one could take home the most sought after prize on the South Dublin darts circuit. The pair had made relatively short work of their semi final opponents, neither losing a leg, but the final proved to be a much tighter affair. The match ebbed and flowed, both men exchanging unforgettable arrows in a barnstorming clash.

With The Physio 2-1 ahead, Colly produced a swashbuckling 4th leg performance to take us to a 5th leg decider. The final leg of 2014 will live long in the memory and will be etched into the folklore of the PDI. There can of course only be one winner and it was Clay Davis who collected his first title. The crowd rose to their feet to congratulate the weary winner who was clearly overcome with emotion. In the end no one could argue with the result, The Physio had been consistently brilliant throughout the day. To the victor goes the spoils.